Friday, March 29

6' Under

I've decided to let it go from my grasp. I've decided to make a move away. I've decided to give space. I've decided to hope off the wagon. I've decided to give time. I've decided to give chance. I've decided to be sad. I've decided to wish the best. I've decided to carry on hoping. I've decided to slowly let it settle. I've decided to bury everything 6' under.

Thursday, March 28

Crap

Life is full of crap. I mean certain part of it.

So yesterday during the team meeting, my boss was talking about team values. All this while it had not struck me until yesterday. One of the values was positive attitude. No 1 rule in the law of attraction is to have a positive attitude.

I just realise I'm so full of negativity. If I look on the bright side, I will surely counter it with a dark side. So from now on, I must have a positive attitude. I actually don't know where it all went to. I used to have it, but now I lost it.


Wednesday, March 27

Just leave it

Hye hye hye. Always wanted to blog about so many stuff but just decided not to do it. This place used to be a sanctuary for me to say or speak on what ever I felt like it but it has all changed. But despite that, I will try to speak or say anything that's in my mind or heart.

Honestly speaking, since January I've been going thru a phase which is full of stuff. I honestly can say its mainly emotional stuff. Mostly happy, I would say 70%. But why isn't it 100%? Well, I'm not sure why. 100% maybe will only come once a confirmation or maybe when there's something I can truly hold on to, and not just thin air.

Yes, it's been all good (period), but I'm trying not to push it any further then what I really want to. There have been instances which I've just pushed a little far, and it really hit me straight back in the face. Which in the end made me really think deep down what's the point? Truly, if you're just been looking from a far wishing that someday but you'll never know when that day will come. Can one be ever ready? I doubt.

It started off being great and all but slowly it changed. I guess that does happen. Maybe people get bored fast. I just feel to uptight at times, and just want to let it all out, but I know if I do, it won't be good. So better just keep it all in. At least I'm open and clear with everything I do or say.

Maybe I'm taking everything too seriously, but who doesn't? Everything just went on too fast. But time doesn't stop for one to see.

"At the right time and moment I will walk away. A friend I shall be but my perception has changed. Say that I'm being too good to be true but I'm a person of my word. Having to understand is one part of it but to be understood is another. I couldn't ask for more but just a little time for time is precious. A friend we shall be till one day we may be enemies. If a chance is given I may consider it but my perception has changed. I am who I am for what its something that won't change. Until readiness is there, I will not wait any longer."

Thursday, March 14

Walk on by

Hye hye sexy folks. If you're not sexy be sexy. You're sexy in your own special way.

Anyway the week so far has been good. I'm getting good as well. Ignoring certain facts and just moving on. If there is there is, if there isn't there isn't. Life is not all about that one thing or more.

Planning for the year is done. Considered done. I mean planning for my trips that is. With just enough gaps in between it shouldn't much of a financial constraint for me. Not forgetting the two folks who I'll be going with later in the year, we shall have an awesome time!

Work for the week has been hectic. Got lots to rush out and its very tough when you're the focal for everything mostly everything. Two days been taking work back home with me and it's not nice at all. Been sleeping around 1-2am everyday and I'm so tired. But it keeps me in a better mood and shape, otherwise I'll be thinking about shit all day long.

Last weekend's plan to let my hair-down was disrupted and cancelled. Planning to have it this Saturday, but that's if nothing crops up.

Random thoughts of the day :
I think when it comes to love, there must be a balance of life and time. Life in terms of work and passion. Time in terms of friends and love. So to live a life, you work and follow your passion which is the rule. But time, there has to be a balance. You need to make sure that both are balanced and not one sided. If your main priority of time are for friends which accounts to 90% of it, then you wouldn't need a love life, and it can't be the other way either. It has to be 50:50.

Friday, March 8

So you showed it without telling

The weather have been killing the past few days. So hot. But evening rains. So emo.

Anyway, I've stopped trying to think so much about something. Actually I would rather not think. But I still do la coz I can't get it out from my head since I like to think so much. Aquarius I am. Wink Wink. I may have made some cut a few strings with what I said last week, but that's what I feel. I rather say it then keep it and lie. Honest I am. Aquarius.

Okay enough with all those bunny poo. Finally 2nd trip for the year confirmed. Yippy! Another baywatch for me. Olalala. But there goes my financial planning for this year...urghhh.

Anyways, my mood have been improving lately. Not so gloomy or suckish. I'm all waterish. Which I cherish. Tomorrow night friend's asked me to join them for a hairdown time. Well I might just need it after all.

Another, I've decided not to join the StandardCharted run. 1stly its all full 2ndly I dislike running.

Have an awesome weekend folks. Xoxo.

Sunday, March 3

Unexplainable

I've got so much going on in my head now. It's just unexplainable what I feel. I've got so much that I want to say but it's just indescribable. I've got so much to show but maybe it should remain unseeable.

Friday, March 1

Why try it's already dry

March has finally arrived. I've finally moved to PJ. What else to come or to do?

Lately I've been extremely emo. Gosh why the emo-ness? Was it because of my birth month? Which has nothing to do with it.
Mood swings and it was from extreme highs to extreme lows. I kinda know the reason to it but I just try to ignore it.
Anyway, I've come to learn a few things lately. Things which actually I've known but I tend to ignore it. Until in the end, it bites me back.

I've grown fond for a particular situation but at the same time I'm in doubt of it. You know it's obviously never easy but it's the way things are that makes it hard.

Been telling myself to grow away from it because in the end it's a game of poker. It's like you're just an appetiser and you're not the main course. That's what's in my thoughts.

Sooner or later I'll make my way out of it because I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Rather then later, I prefer to find the light sooner to avoid going deep into the shadows with no ray surrounding me.

Only time will tell when will I stop the boat and hop off at the next dock.

Who knows there might a waterfall at the end of the river.

Okay! Enough of emo shit stuff!

Time to cheer myself up a little. Well last night met up with a bestie which for no reason we fell out for like a year plus. Then the other day I decided to contact back and we finally met up for a chat.
It's been so long since we've spoken and so much to talk about till time had to tell us to stop. Slowly and surely we're going to make up for the time we lost.

Looks like November I'll be heading East Coast for a friends wedding! It's been quite a while but I can't wait for it. We planned for a pre-wedding trip to Bali. Lets hope it materialise. If not I'll be going alone (maybe).

Work has been quite okay this week and there are times when I wish I was just damn busy till I had no time to bother about anything.

Another weekend is here. Going to make it more productive!

Have a great Friday folks. Ignore my crappings for today.