Honestly it really has been pretty hectic for me and the pressure just keeps increasing without ever going down. Its funny how sometimes people judge you from so many aspects. Expectations are always so high from you to deliver and when you don't people would never ask you why you couldn't or they would not bother to hear your story at all. Instead they would just blame you for it and hold you accountable. I guess that's a fact and being humans, that's how we all think.
Some how lately I've been feeling really demotivated and drained. I don't have that spark in me anymore to do stuff. I mean I still do my stuff with full concentration but its not with full passion.
Today for example, actually not just today, I was told and read certain unpleasant things about me and honestly if I were to say I don't care, I'm lying. Matter of fact is I do care and I do take this kind of things personally because it is totally not what I am. Like I said, people judge you from the outside without bothering to know what's happening on the inside. They say stuff the like and make assumptions. Anyway, its also for my own good perhaps to proof something? I don't know.
Besides, maybe my level of thinking is somehow different and acting like a teenage kid doesn't help in any case. Being through various industry somehow have taught me precious lessons which I'm always appreciative of.