Sunday, February 18

CNY & Banana

Happy Chinese New Year folks! Hope your new year has been great. Every year the new year is pretty much the same for me. Dinner and laze around. Nothing great or exceptional ever happens. There are those who always look forward to the new year but for me it becomes a routine and I’m just too used to it. This year I didn’t even buy any new clothes cause I feel it’s just the same. I know it’s not exactly good for me to be having these sort of feeling but well I can’t help it.

So how am I going to overcome this issue? Well I’m thinking of doing something different next year. Something simple like taking the whole family out for dinner or travelling somewhere. I do wish I have the means to do so much more but I don’t. So I shall do what I can and able to for now. 

The new year aside, it has been bothering me a lot lately that I was raised as a banana. You must be wondering what do I mean by being a banana right? Well it basically means a person who is a Chinese but can’t read, write or speak in Chinese. Why banana as a reference? Because Chinese are always associated as being yellow. So the banana skin represents that yellow skin Chinese while the inside of the banana is white. So that refers to being a Chinese who only speaks English like a white person. I know it’s kinda weird but Malaysians do have creative minds. 

So how is this an issue? Since young I’ve always been given the stare or being told off that I’m sort of a disgrace to the Chinese community for being as such. The uncles and aunties at stores or hawkers centres would say things which can be hurtful at times but some how I’ve grown used to it and I don’t really get bothered by it anymore. But sometimes I do wished I could at speak at least basic mandarin. It would somehow make things so much easier. I know I can learn it from friends but to be honest the amount of Chinese friends I have, it’s like I can count with my fingers. So few and I don’t meet them 24/7 in order to learn it fast enough.

But 30 year’s later here I am still coping and trying to survive in this ratchet world of mine. 


  1. then ma go register and learn looo

  2. i understand your feelings, got a bff who's a banana as well, but well, in a world where everyone judge you, just be yourself and don't give a f about what others think, besides it won't be easy acquiring a new language at your age, even myself, i am still trying to learn Chinese to surprise my guy, but no idea when i would successfully learn it to communicate with him

    1. Yea I have sort of stop caring what others think about others.