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On the verge of loosing my mind

Recent posts

Why did I return?

Wow! It has been a year since I've returned to my current employer. Since coming back, I'm still being asked - 'Why did I return to this place?'

Honestly speaking I have no idea why did I choose to return. I guess I do, but I can't really put my mind to it and give a solid reason as to why.

However all I can say is, since being back, my life has been non-existence. Why do I say such?

Lets start off with time -

On a daily basis, I've been spending most of my time in office from 10am to at least 10pm the least. My life revolves around a laptop, a desk, a chair and perhaps some coffee.

Lost touch with friends - 

I've not been meeting any of my friends lately. I do get texts from many but I've yet to reply or sometimes, I just disappear. Why? The first question that comes from them are - 'When are we catching up?'. To be honest, I would love to catch up but in the end I would have to cancel it due to my work. Do I want to give fake promises and upset…

What do I actually want?

I notice I'm not cut out to be in any relationship. I can't seem to focus nor be at the point whereby I'm truly content with myself.

I tend to doubt myself and my decisions.

I'm still unsure on what I want and need in life.

Is it because my focus is on something else and not what I should be focusing on?

Kill the stress

So I've finally decided that I will be quitting my gym membership for good and focus mainly on a different sort of fitness regime.

Kick-boxing and perhaps muay thai.

I've always been fond of these sort of exercise if that's what you call it.

Gone are the days of me trying to chase chiseled packs and huge biceps. All I want to focus now is my mental and physical health in the right way doing it my way.

Looking forward to my first session!

An Anti-social

Ever since I have returned back to my old working place, I have lost my work life balance. I came in assuming that things have changed but seems otherwise. Working till late night is still a regular routine here. 
Because of the long hours, I have started to become anti social too. Not towards my colleagues but my friends. I've just been not meeting or communicating enough with them till they call me anti-social too. 
Could I be a workaholic instead?
We'll I'm not so sure yet. But I do feel kind of like an anti-social person.

Negativity | Miserable

As if coming back to work after a long break wasn't bad enough, I had a catch up session with my manager for coffee in the morning.

All sort of stuff was running through my head but I sort of knew what was heading my way.

So we sat and she began to start the conversation by stating I was under performing and the boss ain't happy about it.

To be very honest, I have no defense for that because it is just useless for me to defend myself. Reason being is they do not see the difficulty or challenges faced on a daily basis working with humans. Particularly those certain type of humans. Despite continuous update on how difficult it is and all, yet management doesn't see it that way.

So all I can do now is just ramp up what I can and just see how it goes.

Hello there!

Oh wow. I've been away for sometime now. It has been months.

Perhaps its a good time for me to start writing again. Telling my bored life stories for the world around to read about.

Nothing great, nothing fun, but just plain everyday life stuff that's going on with me and the people around me.

What have I been up to recently? Well I just finished watching Chilling Adventures of Sabrina on Netflix. It was rather addictive and I completed both seasons in 2 weeks. Somehow, I love magical stuff like this especially witches and warlocks. Rather fascinating.

Apart from that, I've finally headed back to the sea for some time underwater. Diving down till 18 metres enjoying and appreciating the beauties of the underwater world.

It's just so calming even though it is so tiring. Being on an island with limited connectivity makes you realise the importance of taking note on what's going on around you and not what's going on within the virtual world that's not exactly a…