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Happy new year. Welcome 2018.

We are in the new year but somehow, all I have in me are mixed feelings of happiness, anger, sadness and so much more about welcoming the new year last night.

Among the many other years I've lived and can remember, 2017 has certainly been the toughest year I've ever faced filled with all sorts of life dramas and situations. As much I want to say "Oh 2017 has been a great year for me!" but the fact is I am not able to say so, because if I did it would all just be a pile of junk and lie. No, 2017 has not been a great year but somehow I've managed to pull through it and in a way, it has made me wiser and a better person.

Honestly speaking, there are so many moments in 2017 which I would wish not to be repeated at all. The sadness, the darkness, the tears, the pain, the disappointments, the joy, the fun, and many more moment in time, which have been thrown at me since day one, I've faced them all.

The biggest fear I had in 2017 was the moment when you were told you could loose a loved one forever. But thankfully all was good. Since then things have changed not just for my family but for me as well. I've learn to cherish and never NEVER forget your family no matter what. As much as you may dislike, have any misunderstanding, or anything, never forget them. You only have one family in life and no one can ever replace them no matter how much you pray for it.

Work wise, 2017 has been pretty much kind to me. At first I was having a job where I worked from 10-10 on daily basis, which really ate me up inside out and affected my whole life. So I made a decision to move on from there and I am now in a place where I have much more work life balance and creating new connections on a daily basis. All I'm hoping for is 2018 to be an exciting year with lots of fun and exhilarating moments.

In terms of love life, well, lets just say it has been quite a turmoil for me. At one point I'm on cloud nine and next here I am at my lowest point sometimes thinking am I six feet under? Things were never smooth sailing all the time or so I assumed it was. I guess we learn to live and continue moving on from all the pains and disappointments we've gone through in relationships. All I can say is, sometimes we just become blinded by all the sweet accents of "love" and "affection" shown by the other. However only to realise beneath all that are just sadness, pain and disappoints which cannot be described in so many unimaginable ways. Personally I guess everything started to hit me within the past few weeks. From the breakup to the after effect. It certainly wasn't a pleasant experience but I am learning to cope with it and cope with the facts of life. Lately I have been telling myself to let things go and forget bout it. Trying not to think about things so much as well as trying not to be bothered by them. Friends have ask me if I am on those apps and my answer to them was I cleared my profiles recently and I don’t intend to be on them anytime soon. Is it because I’m loosing faith in what I’m looking for or I just don’t see any hope for it? I don’t know.

Anyway it’s the new year and I guess all I want to do is just not have any expectations and wish to live a happy life. Nothing less nothing more.