I swore I thought I wrote a post on the 1st of May, but looks like I did not. Haha.
Well, hello there May. How are you doing? Hope you're doing good. How am I you May ask? Well so far I'm just the same, day in day out. Boring same old shit.
Few weeks back (not sure how many weeks but many, many weeks), I've been telling people or talking to people about my personal life and how much I want it to change and bla bla bla bla. I will not do this. I will not do that.
Then suddenly about almost a month ago, that all started to slowly change. I mean I'm happy with the change, but I'm also having huge concerns about it. I am guessing I do know the answers for this situation but somehow as usual, I just push them aside.
At times I am pretty good at pushing things away. Wait, not just things but people as well. I guess it is just my nature to do so. I come and go from people's life which is why I never left a mark in them to be remembered.
Anyway, back to the story, for the past few weeks I have been trying really hard to communicate and form a good, stable and strong bond. However, lately I just feel like giving up on it. It is really and extremely tiring. What else can I throw in?
You just try all so very hard to make it perfect but there is no such thing as perfection. Everyone is just for themselves. Everyone is just me me me and hardly we. So if there is no we why even bother to try to use the word we?
We means togetherness. We means there is more than 2 individuals. We means us. But someone how there seems to be a no we in this context.
Every second we do sometimes for a person means we are sacrificing a precious part of our life for that person. You are taking out a part of your time in life for that person. I guess that is why when something unexpected or negative happens, we feel the burn and regret because we have just wasted a part of our time in life for that person.
So how much time you have spent for a person and wish you could just take it all back? Only to realise apart of your life is gone.